LOLLLL i like that alot

 

I'M Back!



Nymphomaniac Convention:

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate wouldhave it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston" He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seensitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish
descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you, I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

 

ahahahahaha lolll

 

A Winter Statistic

98% OF CANADIANS SAY 'OH ****' BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD'.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM THE MARITIMES AND
THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH
THIS'!!

 

hahaha lolll

 

When a woman wears a leather dress,
A man's heart beats quicker,
His throat gets dry,
He goes weak in the knees
and he begins to think irrationally,
Ever wonder why?



Because she smells like a new truck.

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A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.

"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would. Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. [/align][/align] [/align]With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see the clerk climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. [/align] [/align]Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too? "No," stammers the old man, "but it's a quiverin"[/align]
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haha yo ugot some good ones today there clayton

 

When I was born God gave me two choices...
(1) .... I could either have a memory...

OR
(2) .... Be in bed!!!...


****!!!...

Now I forgot what I waz gunna tell ya!!!

 

A young man goes into the Job Center in Edmonton,Alberta and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more - 'Can you give me some more details about this?' he asks the guy behind the desk. The Job Center man sorts through his files & replies - 'Oh yes here it is : The job entails you getting the lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and carefully wash their genital regions. You then apply shaving foam and gently shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you're going to have to go to Red Deer, Alberta. That's about 160 kilometres from here.'
'Oh why, is that where the job's at?'

'No sir - that's the end of the lineup!'
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