This one had me cracking up
#21
05-06-2007 | 10:07 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,672
From: houston
RE: This one had me cracking up
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.
"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.
"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."
#23
05-09-2007 | 05:03 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 147
From: Northern California (FAR Northern California)
RE: This one had me cracking up
My cousin Bob has been a flasher for years. He recently began to feel that he had been a flasher for long enough and decided to retire. Then he sat down and thought about it for a while and decided that he would just stick it out a while longer.
gotcha
gotcha
#24
05-11-2007 | 05:24 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 44
From:
RE: This one had me cracking up
There's three old ladies sitting on a park bench, all of a sudden, a flasher walks up and flashes them! The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke. The third old lady couldn't quite reach.
#25
05-11-2007 | 11:36 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,600
From: Atlanta Georgia
RE: This one had me cracking up
read this joke aloud or else it won't be funny.
A 90 year old woman in a retirement home decides she wants to get a man in her life. She is a little senile and has a strange plan to lure in men. She goes to a room full of 90 year old men and lifter her skirt saying "SUPER *****!" All of them have a strike and die. She goes to a room of 80 year old men flashes them saying "SUPER *****" and they all have heart attacks and die. She goes to a 70 year old man flashs him saying "SUPER *****?" and he replies "I'll have the soup."
A 90 year old woman in a retirement home decides she wants to get a man in her life. She is a little senile and has a strange plan to lure in men. She goes to a room full of 90 year old men and lifter her skirt saying "SUPER *****!" All of them have a strike and die. She goes to a room of 80 year old men flashes them saying "SUPER *****" and they all have heart attacks and die. She goes to a 70 year old man flashs him saying "SUPER *****?" and he replies "I'll have the soup."
#26
05-23-2007 | 02:52 AM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3
RE: This one had me cracking up
Those were funny jokes! I liked the one about the blonde better. But the one that gets the prize is the cop car!
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Mazdaspeed Performance Accessories - Mazdaspeed Performance Accessories Catalog by Mazda USA
#27
05-28-2007 | 06:32 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,672
From: houston
RE: This one had me cracking up
a blonde walks into a bar, sits down and tells the bartender, "here's the deal. i just moved here to go to college and i left behind two sisters who i used to go out and party with once a week. so i am going to come in here every thursday and order three margaritas. i am going to sit here and drink them and leave so it will be like we are all three back together partying.i want all three at once." so the bartender agrees and serves her the three margaritas. she drinks a little out of each until they are all empty, then tips and leaves. this goes on for several weeks until one day she comes in and only orders two margaritas. the bartender automatically assumes the worst and serves her two margaritas with kind of a long face. he lets her drink a little, then comes to offer his condolences. she says, "what are you talking about? i didn't lose a sister, i just quit drinking."
