This one had me cracking up
#341
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Heard a really bad one (groan) yesterday...
Seems this couple w/9 children hadbeen living out in the woods for years, away from civilization in general.
One day they go into town to see a doctor.
Wife: Doctor, my husband needs a vasectomy RIGHT NOW!!
The doctor looked to the 5 children sitting at his left, then scanned the 4 sitting on his right and said,
Why immediately? Why now, after 9 children?
Wife: Well, a passer by told us that anews reportsaid that in America now 1 out of every 10 children is born Hispanic. We don't speak Spanish andcouldn't communicate with the next one!!
#342
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Ralph and Mary were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy morning.
Ralph suddenly said, "Mary, if I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" Mary asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other ******* using my stuff..."
"What makes you think I'd marry another *******?"
Ralph suddenly said, "Mary, if I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" Mary asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry, and I don't want some other ******* using my stuff..."
"What makes you think I'd marry another *******?"
#345
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This one's kind of a groaner...but here goes:
A neutron is walking down the street when suddenly, out of nowhere, a proton walks right into him.
The proton says "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"
The neutron says "No, I'n not ok, I've lost an electron!"
Proton says "What? Are you sure?!"
Neutron says "Yes! I'm positive!"
Ha ha ha.
A neutron is walking down the street when suddenly, out of nowhere, a proton walks right into him.
The proton says "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"
The neutron says "No, I'n not ok, I've lost an electron!"
Proton says "What? Are you sure?!"
Neutron says "Yes! I'm positive!"
Ha ha ha.
#350
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Cute little teller at the bank hit me with this one this morning. Had me giggling all through my transaction - - - Do you know where virgin wool comes from?
Ugly sheep!
rolomac
Ugly sheep!
rolomac